


Rebellious Hearts

by WordWanderer13



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e01 Night, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s), Psychological Trauma, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-25 15:50:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordWanderer13/pseuds/WordWanderer13
Summary: Having barely recovered from the strain of traversing The Void, an encounter with a violent and misogynistic race forces Janeway and Chakotay to confront the issues between them – both professional and personal. Set in early Season 5, shortly after the episode ‘Night’.*Note: so sorry for the delay on Chapter 3! If I'd known what real life was going to throw at me in October I would have waited until November to start a multi-chapter. Please bear with me!*





	1. Chapter 1

Captain Kathryn Janeway sat on the couch in her quarters, head propped up with one hand while the other maintained a loose grip on the Engineering report she had been attempting to finish reading. She had only managed a few paragraphs before her gaze had drifted to the stars streaking by outside the window, her mind quickly succumbing to the melancholy that had been her companion since they had entered The Void. She had hoped this feeling would have dissipated with _Voyager’s_ escape and return to normal space, but it had lingered, seeping into her dreams and stalking her while she tried to go about her duties. 

Janeway was no stranger to guilt. She had felt it every day to varying degrees of intensity ever since she had made the decision to destroy the Caretaker’s array. But this was different. Weeks of staring into the nothingness of The Void had dragged to the forefront of her mind feelings she had been suppressing for the four years _Voyager_ had been stranded in the Delta Quadrant. 

She stared wistfully at the stars, elongated and distorted by virtue of _Voyager’s_ warp engines. It was a relief to be among them again. Her breath caught in her throat as the thought occurred to her that, were it not for the devotion of her crew, and of one man in particular, she would have lived the rest of her life without ever seeing those stars again.

Tears welled in her eyes as she recalled the crew’s defiance and steadfast refusal to abandon her to The Void. Though technically their actions qualified as mutiny, Janeway knew their insubordination had been motivated by love and loyalty, not lack of faith in her leadership abilities. Though, she thought regretfully, her own actions had given them plenty of reason to doubt her.

She closed her eyes at the onslaught of memories. The first few days in The Void hadn’t been too draining. Everyone was still adjusting and the reality of their new circumstances hadn’t sunk in yet. But, after the first week had become two, then three, Janeway had found herself lying awake at night, alone in the darkness of her quarters, contemplating her past decisions and her effectiveness as _Voyager’s_ leader. As the weeks dragged on, she was seen on the bridge less and less, until, eventually, she wasn’t seen at all. 

Chakotay had routinely stopped by, trying in vain to engage her in conversation or coax her out of her quarters. She could hear the concern in his voice, as well as the strain of bearing the burden of running the ship alone, but she rarely even met his gaze, let alone confided in him. Preferring instead to remain shrouded in shadow in the corner of the room. She knew she was causing him pain, but her own was so great that it eclipsed everything else. Nothing could pierce the veil of guilt and self-loathing that separated her from her crew and best friend. 

The forgotten Engineering report slipped from her grasp as she recalled Chakotay’s last visit before they had been attacked by The Void’s inhabitants.

_“You’ve picked a bad time to isolate yourself from the crew. This ship needs a Captain, especially now.”_

He had been right, of course, as he so often was. She had abandoned her crew. She had abandoned him. It was bad enough that she had stranded them on the other side of the Galaxy, but now she was hiding from her responsibility to them. Like a coward. 

It had been a little over a week since they had escaped The Void, and she could still feel the concerned eyes of the crew following her. They would quickly turn away, their Starfleet training demanding they show respect and professionalism to their Captain. Respect, Chakotay had since reassured her, they still felt for her, even if she didn’t feel it for herself. But something had changed. The illusion of the strong and resolute leader had been shattered, and Janeway wasn’t sure how to rebuild it, or even if she could. _They know,_ she thought regretfully, _they know I’m not as strong as they thought I was._

A violent shudder suddenly rocked the ship and jarred her from her thoughts. 

The sound of the red alert klaxons filled her ears as Chakotay’s urgent voice came over the comm, “Captain to the bridge!”

Janeway’s command training kicked into gear immediately and forced all thoughts of herself from her mind. A familiar clarity and sense of purpose replaced her inner turmoil as she sprang to her feet and headed for the door. 

She strode onto the bridge a few minutes later, having endured several more impacts to _Voyager’s_ hull along the way, to find Chakotay engaged in a heated exchange with an alien whose race she was unfamiliar with. The area behind him was poorly lit, but Janeway could make out two parallel ridges running down both sides of his face, divided beneath his forehead by a pair of dark eyes that conveyed open hostility. 

“You are trespassing in Greshnayr territory! Remove yourselves immediately!”

Chakotay’s jaw was set in a frustrated grimace as he replied, “As I said, we had no idea this region of space was occupied. Stop your attack and we’ll withdraw.”

The alien looked set to return another angry retort when Janeway cut him off, moving into position beside Chakotay in the center of the bridge, “My name is Kathryn Janeway, Captain of this ship.” 

The alien’s obsidian eyes narrowed and swiveled towards her. A chill raced down her spine and she had to force herself not to flinch. She rarely experienced such a visceral reaction during first contact, even when fire had been exchanged, but something about this alien’s gaze profoundly unnerved her.

The alien spoke, this time in a lower, more menacing tone than he had used with Chakotay, “You command this vessel?”

“Yes,” Janeway replied, forcing her voice to remain steady and controlled, “And, as my First Officer informed you, we were unaware of your claim to this space. Our only intention is to pass peacefully through this area. We have no quarrel with you.”

The alien seemed not to register her words, instead, he advanced closer, his heavy-set frame filling more of the screen as his eyes seemed to evaluate her. 

“You are a female of your species?” 

Janeway frowned and glanced briefly at Chakotay, who, she noted, also appeared more uneasy than normal. It might have been her imagination, but she could have sworn he moved imperceptibly closer to her. 

Turning back to face the alien, Janeway replied firmly, “I am. What of it?”

What might have been a smirk briefly flashed across the alien’s face before the viewscreen abruptly went black. 

Janeway turned to question her Operations Officer, “Harry, what happened?”

The young Ensign replied, “They ended the transmission, Captain.” 

Seconds later, Janeway stumbled as _Voyager_ was rocked by another volley of weapon’s fire. 

Hurrying back to her command chair, Janeway began rapidly issuing instructions to her crew.

“Tom, evasive maneuvers!” “Tuvok, return fire!” “Harry, hail them again!”

A series of affirmative responses met her commands as her crew carried out her orders. She turned to Chakotay, now seated beside her, “What happened, Commander?”

Chakotay’s brow furrowed as he shook his head, “I don’t know. One minute we were at warp and the next that ship started firing on us. We barely got the shields up in time.” 

Another sharp shock threw Janeway backwards against her chair as sparks rained down onto the bridge. 

Tuvok called out from his station behind her, “Shields down to 65%. Damage reported on decks 5, 10 and 11.”

“No response to our hails,” Harry added. 

Janeway grasped the armrests of her chair and shouted over the din, “Tom, get us out of here!”

Another violent impact slammed into _Voyager_ as Tom yelled out, “Warp drive is offline!” 

“Captain!” Janeway’s head whipped round to meet the worried gaze of Ensign Kim, “Three other ships are approaching!”

Janeway’s heart sank. If they couldn’t go to warp, they had no hope of successfully evading four enemy vessels. She drew breath to issue further orders, only for Tuvok’s voice to cut in, “The incoming vessels are firing at the attacking ship.”

Confused, Janeway turned to face the viewscreen. The new arrivals, smaller and apparently more maneuverable than the first, were ducking and diving around the larger vessel, their weapons lancing into their target. 

“The first vessel’s shields are weakening, Captain,” Tuvok reported. 

Janeway watched as the enemy ship returned fire. While several of its shots did find their targets, the smaller vessels were undeterred and continued their assault. Moments later, the larger vessel turned and moved off.

“They are withdrawing, Captain,” Tuvok confirmed. 

Janeway breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Harry, “Hail the other ships.”

Harry nodded and worked the controls for a few seconds before announcing, “The lead ship is responding, Captain.”

The face of a male alien, not dissimilar to the previous one but with a decidedly friendlier visage, appeared on the viewscreen.

“Greetings. I am R’nall.”

Janeway smiled and rose from her chair, “My name is Captain Kathryn Janeway. Thank you for your assistance.” 

R’nall frowned and appeared to hesitate for a moment before speaking again. “Forgive me, Captain, but I must ask. You are a female member of your race?”

Janeway tensed, her short-lived sense of relief rapidly diminishing. She sensed Chakotay rise from his chair and move to stand beside her. As always, his presence steadied her. 

“That’s right,” she replied. “Why is my gender significant?”

R’nall sighed, “You have entered a dangerous situation, Captain. I strongly urge you to turn around and leave this space immediately.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Janeway replied firmly, squaring her shoulders and stepping closer to the viewscreen. “We are on a long journey back to our home. Turning around would add an unacceptable amount of time to that journey. I cannot make such a decision without more information.”

R’nall’s shoulders slumped in resignation. Janeway paused to study him more closely. His short hair was streaked with grey, while his face bore the signs of previous injuries that clearly hadn’t received proper treatment. He looked like a man who had seen more violence than he cared to. 

“Very well,” R’nall replied, “If you will permit it, I will come aboard your ship and explain further. In the meantime, our vessels will stay with yours as protection.”

Janeway nodded, a grateful smile gracing her features, “I would appreciate that, thank you.”

*********************

Ten minutes later, Janeway and _Voyager’s_ senior staff had assembled in the briefing room with their new ally. R’nall had refused the offer of a seat at the table, and had instead chosen to remain standing while he spoke.

“My people are the Greshnayr,” he began, his tone solemn and resigned, “and we are a divided race. Historically, the males have always held dominance, while the females were expected to remain servile and obedient, never seeking roles beyond those required of them.” 

Janeway nodded in understanding, “Our society once struggled with similar issues.”

R’nall, smiled slightly, “The fact that you command this vessel proves your people have moved beyond such attitudes. I only wish we could say the same.”

“You mentioned you’re a divided people,” Chakotay said, “and you attacked one of your own vessels. Are you fighting a civil war?”

R’nall nodded gravely, “For many years now. There are those of us, myself included, who believe that our females are just as capable as males. That they should not be barred from any profession, including leadership.”

Janeway smiled, “That’s certainly an attitude we share.”

“Clearly,” R’nall acknowledged, “but our Government, and, I regret, the majority of our males, do not agree. They will never tolerate a female in authority, not under any circumstances.”

Understanding dawned on Janeway, “Which explains their reaction to me.”

“Yes,” R’nall replied, “Our Government is generally hostile to outsiders, but the ship you encountered would have been determined to destroy you once they learned this vessel was commanded by a female.”

R’nall began pacing the room as he continued, “When I was a child, a resistance movement, led by the strongest and bravest of our females, my mother among them, emerged to challenge the long-held precepts of our society. They recruited male allies who could obtain ships and resources, and, over time, the movement grew to encompass hundreds of vessels manned by those of us willing to fight for a better future for all Greshnayr.”

R’nall paused for a moment, his composure faltering slightly as he appeared to gather himself.

“I was not the original commander of my vessel. Up until two years ago, we were led by an extraordinary female named L’nerra. She led a number of successful missions that furthered our cause but, unfortunately, they also brought her to the attention of the Government.”

“What happened to her?” Janeway asked gently.

R’nall faced Janeway, who inhaled sharply at the look of unmasked pain written on the man’s face, “She was captured during a mission and taken to one of the Government’s detention centers. We don’t know which one, or even if she’s still alive. The stories we hear coming out of those places are … unpleasant.” 

Clearing his throat, R’nall continued, “When it became apparent that the mission had gone awry and she was likely to be taken, L’nerra ordered me to take command of our ship, retreat and save our crew. I refused.” 

R’nall closed his eyes momentarily, guilt and regret plainly evident on his face, before continuing, “The crew chose to stand with me, and we pledged to protect our leader, but in her desperation to protect us instead, L’nerra surrendered herself to the Government forces, giving us the opportunity to escape.”

R’nall paused then, seeming to stand taller, his next words spoken with resolute determination, “We have undertaken many missions since then, but our primary goal shall always be to find and rescue her, or, failing that, to avenge her.”

Janeway felt the weight of Chakotay’s gaze on her, the echoes of their recent situation in The Void not lost on her. Against her will, she heard the voices of her crew in her mind. 

_“Forget it, we’re not going to let you die out here.”_

_“I’d be willing to brave this Void if it meant keeping you with us.”_

_“I can’t follow that order, Ma’am.” _

Forcing herself to stay in the moment and not look in Chakotay’s direction, Janeway kept her focus on R’nall, whose tone had taken on a note of urgency.

“Now you understand why you must leave here. Our Government is aware of you now. You and your position on this vessel are an affront to everything they are. The fact that you are an alien makes you all the more dangerous. It proves that there are other races in the Galaxy who have learned to accept females as equal to males. They will take you the same way they did L’nerra, if they don’t destroy your vessel first.”

Seeming to sense Janeway’s reluctance, R’nall pressed on. 

“Our space is vast, Captain. We have only one home world, but this region is full of habitable asteroids and moons that are under Government control. You would need to travel a minimum of 150 light years before you would be safe.”

Tom spoke up, “That would take us at least six weeks, maybe longer if we can’t sustain high warp.”

“And at least two years to go around it, right?” Janeway asked.

Tom sighed and nodded, “That sounds about right, yeah.”

Still avoiding Chakotay’s gaze, Janeway looked at the faces of her other senior staff. With the exception of Tuvok, they all looked despondent, resigned to a lengthy detour and a further delay in getting back home. Tendrils of guilt began to snake their way into her thoughts as she tried to decide the best course of action. 

Turning back to R’nall, Janeway asked, “Are my other female crewmembers in danger, or just me?”

R’nall frowned, unprepared for the question, before replying, “Not directly, no. My Government are far less interested in subordinates. Their primary aim is to make examples of female leaders, either by killing them or …” He hesitated, “Captain, forgive me, but, surely the danger to yourself is enough of a reason to heed my warnings?”

“It is”, Chakotay said abruptly. 

Janeway glanced sharply at him, her gaze warning him not to openly disagree with her. He met her eyes for a moment, his own betraying the deeper reason for his outburst, before he sighed and looked away. 

When she was sure Chakotay wouldn’t say anything further, Janeway addressed R’nall again, “Thank you for coming to our rescue, R’nall, and for explaining the situation we now find ourselves in. We will need a few days to make repairs before we can travel above impulse speed. In the meantime, I will consider our options.”

R’nall was about to speak again before Janeway cut him off, “Tuvok, please escort our guest back to the transporter room. The rest of you are dismissed.”

Reluctantly, the senior staff rose to leave. Tuvok gestured for R’nall to follow him. With shoulders slumped in quiet resignation, R’nall moved towards the door. Just before he reached it, he turned back to Janeway, “My ships will stay with yours until you have completed repairs. The Government may send other vessels out here looking for you.”

“Thank you,” Janeway nodded. 

“You remind me of her, you know,” R’nall said, almost too quietly for Janeway to hear, before he left the room. 

Janeway watched him leave, feeling slightly shaken by his parting words, before turning to the one person who had stayed behind. 

“I know what you’re going to say, Chakotay.” 

Moving towards her, Chakotay locked eyes with hers, no longer holding back now that they were alone. 

“I’ll say it anyway. Travelling through this region is too dangerous. We risk losing you and maybe even _Voyager_, all to shave a few years off our trip. It isn’t worth it.”

Janeway set her jaw in stubborn determination, “That’s not your call to make.”

“Oh no?” Chakotay moved closer, nearing but not quite encroaching on her personal space, his eyes bright with his own resolve, “You saw how the crew reacted when you wanted to stay behind in The Void. Do you really think they’ll be content to let you risk your life like this?”

Janeway’s eyes narrowed, “Are you threatening to stage a mutiny, _Commander_?”

“Damn it, Kathryn!” Chakotay blurted out, “Why do you have to act like this?” 

Forcing her voice to remain steady, she replied, “Because I’m the Captain, and this is my decision.”

“No,” Chakotay said sharply, “you’re not the Captain right now. You’re a woman who carries an incredible burden on her shoulders weighed down by guilt about a decision you believe was short-sighted and selfish, and you’re letting that guilt guide your current decisions.”

Stung, Janeway clung to her authority, “You’re out of line, Commander.” 

“Maybe I am,” Chakotay acknowledged, “but this needs to be said. We were attacked shortly after we entered Greshnayr space. What makes you think we can make it through six weeks without being attacked again?”

“We’ve travelled through dangerous areas of space held by hostile aliens before,” Janeway countered, “The Swarm, the Borg, the B'omar. We always find a way.”

“This is different!” Chakotay almost yelled, “You’ve never had a target on your back before!” 

He raised his hands as if to grasp her arms, before catching himself and lowering them down to his sides. When he spoke again, it was with a gentler, but no less urgent tone, “They’re after you, Kathryn, which means they will attack again, probably with more ships. If we turn around now, we can make repairs to the warp engines while R’nall’s ships help defend us, then get the hell out of here.”

Looking into Janeway’s eyes, Chakotay saw the flicker of doubt he was looking for, and pressed on, “Please, Kathryn, your safety is worth an extra two years on this journey.”

Janeway forced her eyes away from the intensity of Chakotay’s gaze and stepped back a few paces, desperate for some breathing room. In moments like this, it was much harder to deny the emotional connection between the two of them. Chakotay was always so protective of her, and he had the uncanny ability to talk her out of decisions she had thought she was set on. She couldn’t let that happen this time. 

Squaring her shoulders, Janeway turned back to Chakotay, “Your objections are noted, Commander, but I’ve made my decision. We will take R’nall up on his offer of protection until we have made repairs, then we will proceed through Greshnayr space at warp. Now that we are aware of the threat, we can prepare for it. I have every faith in this crew.”

Chakotay attempted to move towards her again and opened his mouth to speak, but Janeway held up her hand to stop him, “You’re dismissed, Commander.”

A myriad of emotions raged in Chakotay’s eyes as he held her gaze for several moments, before he reluctantly turned and left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this story in my head for years and I'm delighted with the response so far, so thank you to all of you for reading. I'm really enjoying writing it. There's a lot more to come!

As Chakotay marched through the doors to his quarters and heard them swish quietly closed behind him, he wished, not for the first time, that he could slam them instead.

He stopped in the middle of the room, fists clenched and breathing labored, attempting to calm himself.

There was no one in the entire Galaxy with the ability to rile him up like Kathryn Janeway.

Unfortunately, her decision to continue through Greshnayr space despite the dangers involved was not surprising. Chakotay sighed as he recalled the numerous times he had found himself desperately trying to talk her out of a reckless act of self-sacrifice. While it had taken only one conversation to bring her around during the Omega crisis, he had been forced to incite a near mutiny to protect her from The Void. This time, he feared, it might be impossible to talk her down from her current position.

“Damnit, Kathryn!” Chakotay muttered to the empty room.

As angry as he was, it was fear that was the primary emotion surging through his veins, making his heart pound and forcing a rush of adrenaline through his body.

During the staff meeting he had watched, helpless, as Kathryn’s natural human instincts for survival and self-preservation were overcome by the greater instinct to deliver her crew home as soon as possible.

She terrified him when she was like this.

It was as if she conjured up a wall between them, cemented by years of guilt and responsibility, that simultaneously shut him out while also keeping her own private emotions sealed in. He knew she was frightened, he had seen it in her eyes briefly during their earlier argument, but she had closed the gap in the wall as quickly as it had opened, leaving him with no hope of reasoning with her. In her mind, her life was worth less than the lives of those under her command.

_Ironic_, Chakotay thought regretfully, _as her life means everything to me._

His thoughts were interrupted by the door chime. His heart lurched in his chest. Maybe Kathryn had come to her senses after all.

“Come in,” he called out.

His hopes were shattered when an irate B’Elanna Torres stormed into the room.

“Tell me you managed to talk her out of this insanity!”

Chakotay sighed, “Hello to you too, B’Elanna.”

She stopped when she reached his couch and whirled around to face him, eyes alight with anger.

“I’m serious, Chakotay! You did talk to her, didn’t you?”

Chakotay took a deep breath, knowing how badly his response would be received.

“I did, but I’m afraid the Captain has made up her mind. We’re going ahead as planned.”

B’Elanna’s face briefly registered shock, before quickly returning to its earlier indignation. 

“You can’t be serious! Her life is in danger!”

“Don’t you think I know that?!” Chakotay yelled, before quickly regaining control of his temper. He sighed and moved to stand in front of B’Elanna.

“Look, I share your concern for the Captain’s safety, but this is her decision and we have a duty to carry it out.”

“Funny,” B’Elanna scoffed, “that wasn’t your attitude when she wanted to stay behind in The Void.”

“That was different,” Chakotay insisted, unsure if he was trying to convince B’Elanna or himself. “If she had gone through with that plan, she would have been separated from us permanently. That’s not the case this time. We have a tactical advantage now that means we have every chance of protecting her.”

The incredulous expression on B’Elanna’s face told him she wasn’t convinced.

“And if those misogynistic bastards capture and kill her, that’ll be pretty damn permanent, too.”

Feeling his fear rising along with his temper, Chakotay shot back, “What the hell do you expect me to do? Stage a mutiny? Lock her in her quarters?”

“I’ve heard worse ideas,” B’Elanna replied sharply.

Chakotay sighed heavily. A part of him, and not a small part, wanted to do just that. To save Kathryn from herself and ensure she was safe no matter the consequences. But he knew that wasn’t really an option.

“I can’t do that, B’Elanna. If I openly defy her authority and refuse to follow her orders, there’s no coming back from that. It will signal to everyone that I don’t think she’s fit to command this ship. I have to stand behind her, and so do you. If we don’t, we risk backing her into a corner and forcing her to make a dangerous choice.”

_Just like L’nerra did_, Chakotay added mentally, though he couldn’t bring himself to make the comparison aloud.

“More dangerous than this one?” B’Elanna asked, worry creeping into her voice. “Chakotay, this is crazy!”

Chakotay pushed on with his argument, desperate to justify his decision and convince both B’Elanna and himself that he was doing the right thing.

“You’ve seen what happens when she’s backed into a corner. Remember when we found out that the Srivani had been running experiments on us? The Captain flew us through the middle of those binary pulsars, despite how risky it was, because she couldn’t see another way out of that situation.”

“But there is another way out of this!” B’Elanna yelled.

“Not to her,” Chakotay stated simply.

Lowering his voice to a gentler tone, he placed his hand on B’Elanna’s shoulder.

“There’s more going on here than you know, B’Elanna. I need you to trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

B’Elanna met his eyes, sadness and fear warring with her anger, “I really hope you’re right, Chakotay.”

He nodded and dropped his hand from her shoulder.

“I’ll talk to her again tomorrow. Maybe, after she’s had time to sleep on it, she’ll feel differently about this.”

B’Elanna huffed, “I wouldn’t bet on it.”

_Neither would I_, Chakotay thought, before replying, “Get back to work, B’Elanna. We need those warp engines back online. I also need you to do everything necessary to prepare _Voyager_ for another attack.”

B’Elanna looked like she wanted to argue further, but thought better of it. She headed for the doors, only to stop and turn around before they opened.

“I guess it won’t make a difference,” she said, her voice steady in her sincerity, “but tell the Captain that her crew would rather add two years to this journey than risk losing her.”

Chakotay smiled softly, “I will.”

B’Elanna nodded and left Chakotay’s quarters, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more.

*************

After what had been a restless night, Chakotay found himself at the entrance to Janeway’s ready room the next morning, anxiously waiting for her to admit him. He heard her call for him to come in, and stepped through the doors, willing himself to remain calm and steady.

Janeway looked up from the PADD she was reading. “Good morning, Commander.”

“Morning,” Chakotay replied hesitantly, coming to a stop in front of her desk.

When he said nothing further, Janeway sighed and put down the PADD.

“I’m assuming you’re here to discuss the Greshnayr situation.”

Chakotay responded before he could stop himself.

“If by ‘the Greshnayr situation’, you mean your decision to put yourself at unnecessary risk by insisting we pass through the territory of a hostile race that despises female leaders, then yes.”

Janeway’s eyes hardened and Chakotay knew he’d made the wrong approach.

Getting to her feet and circling around her desk until she was standing in front of him, Janeway squared her shoulders and met his gaze with a familiar defiance.

“I’ve made my position perfectly clear, Commander. We are not having this discussion again.”

Casting about in his mind for an alternative approach that might be more successful, Chakotay steadied his voice and replied, “B’Elanna came to see me last night. She wanted me to let you know that the crew would rather spend an extra two years in the Delta Quadrant than see you risk your life.”

For a moment, Janeway’s expression softened. Chakotay knew her love for her crew ran deep, but it was rare that she allowed herself to appreciate the fact that those feelings were reciprocated. Hopeful that pressing this advantage would help sway her, Chakotay drew breath to continue, but stopped when Janeway abruptly turned away from him and retreated back behind her desk.

“While I appreciate the crew’s concern for me, I cannot factor it into my decision. It is my responsibility to ensure their wellbeing, not the other way around.”

His exasperation almost getting the better of him, Chakotay asked, “Why can’t it go both ways? We’re a family out here, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” Janeway acknowledged, “but my decision four years ago brought us here, and it is my responsibility, and mine alone, to make sure we get back home – by any means necessary.”

Becoming more desperate, Chakotay’s tone grew more urgent, “What do you think it will do to the crew’s wellbeing if we lose you? Have you considered that?”

“That’s not going to happen,” Janeway stated firmly, placing her hands either side of her on the desk, fingers gripping the edges.

“You can’t be certain of that!” Chakotay shot back, his voice rising as he moved as close to her as he could with the desk separating them. “You’re taking a huge risk for no good reason.”

Janeway held her ground, “It’s a calculated risk.”

“It’s reckless!” Chakotay yelled, unable to contain the fear-driven anger raging inside him.

Janeway glared at him for a moment, before replying in a low, threatening tone. One Chakotay only ever heard her use when she was about to play her trump card.

“Tell me, Commander, is it your intention to circumvent my authority?”

Chakotay sighed and shook his head, “Kathryn, please don’t do this.”

“I asked you a question,” Janeway pressed on, leaning further across the desk. “Will you and the crew carry out my orders, or not?”

Chakotay held her gaze for as long as he could, allowing the feelings she knew he had for her to shine through, silently begging her not to go down this road. For an instant, he saw Janeway’s defiant expression falter, her eyes betraying the woman behind the Captain, before the wall between them slammed back into place and her eyes hardened again.

She had him, and she knew it.

His conversation with B’Elanna echoing in his mind, Chakotay reluctantly replied, “Of course, Captain.”

Janeway nodded curtly, “Then we’re finished here. You’re dismissed, Commander. I’ll expect continued updates on the status of the warp engines.”

With that, Janeway sat down and activated her monitor, refusing to meet his gaze.

Chakotay remained where he stood, willing her to look at him again, until it became clear that the matter was firmly closed. His growing anxiety formed a knot in his stomach as he realized that, this time, he wasn’t going to be able to reason with her.

He sighed and turned to leave, but not before making one final plea.

“We still have a few days until we can go to warp. Please, think about what I’ve said.”

But all Chakotay heard in response were the sounds of Janeway tapping inputs into her monitor. It was as if he hadn’t spoken at all.

Janeway didn’t even look up when she heard the doors slide shut behind him.

*************

For the next two days, Janeway and Chakotay barely spoke to each other. The crew sensed the tension, and Chakotay couldn’t help but notice the meaningful looks they exchanged whenever their commanding officers were on the bridge together. Mercifully, however, no one, including B’Elanna, had made any attempt to discuss it with him.

At 11:00 hours on the third day after the Greshnayr attack, word came from Engineering that the warp engines were back online. As Janeway acknowledged B’Elanna’s communication, Chakotay risked a glance in her direction. Janeway stared straight ahead, eyes fixed on the viewscreen, before she turned to her left and looked past Chakotay.

“Mr. Kim, please send a message to R’nall’s vessel and request that he come aboard. I would like to speak with him before we depart.”

“Aye, Captain,” Kim replied dutifully.

Rising from her chair, Janeway then addressed her Chief of Security, “Tuvok, please escort R’nall to my ready room when he arrives.”

Tuvok nodded in response. Her orders having been acknowledged, Janeway walked down the steps and entered her ready room, without even sparing Chakotay a backward glance.

As he watched her leave the bridge, the last vestiges of hope died in his heart. She wasn’t going to change her mind.

*************

Janeway smiled as R’nall entered her ready room. She dismissed Tuvok with a nod in his direction, before turning to address the Greshnayr man.

“R’nall, thank you again for all your assistance, and, in particular, for your willingness to remain with us while we made repairs. My crew and I greatly appreciate it.”

R’nall smiled warmly, “You are most welcome, Captain.”

He hesitated before continuing, “Am I to assume that your intention is still to proceed through Greshnayr space, despite my warnings?” 

Janeway sighed inwardly. It was bad enough that she had been forced to justify her decision to Chakotay, she wasn’t about to do it again.

“It is,” she stated firmly, her voice carrying a slight edge to indicate the matter was not open for debate.

R’nall bowed his head and nodded sadly, “I see. Then, may I offer you some further assistance?”

He handed Janeway a data PADD, “This contains tactical information on our Government’s vessels, as well as the hailing frequency you may use to contact me. You will understand, of course, why my ships and I cannot remain with you for the rest of your journey through this territory. We have our own people to protect and missions to carry out.”

“And a missing leader to find,” Janeway added.

R’nall smiled sadly, “If we are fortunate, yes.”

He paused, apparently considering his next words carefully. “Captain, it is not my place to question your decision, or to make further attempts to convince you to reconsider, but I feel I must caution you that, while the resistance will offer aid where it can, I cannot offer any guarantees that any of our vessels will be able to come to your defense if, and more likely, when, you are attacked again.”

Janeway nodded, the weight of her decision bearing down on her, threatening to crush her resolve. Here was a man who barely knew her, giving her the same warning as the man who knew her better than anyone else. The flicker of self-doubt she had been suppressing for the last few days flared into life for a moment, before she quickly dampened it down again. She was set on her course of action. The sooner they got through Greshnayr space, the better.

“Thank you for your counsel, R’nall,” she said politely, “I can assure you that I have not reached this decision lightly. But I have vowed to return my crew to their families as soon as possible. If that means facing danger, then so be it.”

R’nall looked at her for a moment, a strange familiarity crossing his features, as though he were standing before someone he had known for years, before he nodded and replied, “Then I wish you and your crew a safe passage through Greshnayr space, and beyond.”

Janeway held out her hand, which R’nall clasped with both of his, “And I wish you luck in your mission. I hope you find L’nerra.”

“Thank you,” R’nall replied.

Janeway watched as the doors opened and Tuvok escorted R’nall up the stairs onto the bridge and out of sight. As the doors slid closed again, she stood alone in the center of her ready room, the words of R’nall and Chakotay ringing in her head, and allowed herself, just for a moment, to wonder if she was doing the right thing.

*************

It didn’t take long for Janeway to get her answer.

R’nall and his fleet had been out of range for only a few hours before Ensign Kim said the words they had all been dreading, “I’m detecting two Greshnayr Government ships on an intercept course. They’ll catch up to us in approximately five minutes.”

“Red alert,” Janeway ordered, “All hands to battle stations.”

Ice ran through Chakotay’s veins as he locked eyes with Janeway. He couldn’t be sure, but for a moment he could have sworn he saw a flash of fear in her eyes, before she quickly turned away and addressed her helmsman.

“Mr. Paris, try to keep ahead of them for as long as you can.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Tom replied, his fingers dancing over the helm controls as he increased _Voyager’s_ speed to near maximum.

“Tuvok,” Janeway said as she moved towards the tactical station, “Are the new shields and weapons enhancements complete?”

“Affirmative, Captain,” Tuvok replied, “I have incorporated R’nall’s tactical data into our defensive systems. I will focus our fire on the areas of the Greshnayr vessels he deemed most vulnerable.”

“Good,” Janeway nodded, before returning to her chair. Looking straight ahead, the picture of a calm and in control leader, Janeway crossed her legs and placed both hands on the chair’s armrests. Acutely aware of Chakotay’s concerned gaze, she squared her shoulders and set her jaw, refusing to show any signs of doubt or weakness.

The first volley of enemy weapon’s fire rocked _Voyager’s_ shields a few minutes later.

“Shields are holding,” Tuvok reported, “minor damage to the secondary hull.”

“Return fire,” Janeway ordered, silently thanking R’nall for his assistance and the valuable information he had passed on.

The viewscreen was alight with orange bursts of energy as Tuvok targeted first one ship, then the other, the precision phaser hits striking the enemy hulls each time.

The orange bolts were soon joined by blue as the Greshnayr returned fire in a coordinated attack on _Voyager’s_ fore and aft sections.

Janeway gripped the armrests tightly as she was buffeted from side to side. She could see flames had erupted from the aft section of one of the enemy ships, but it continued to fire.

“Shields down to 40%, Captain.” Tuvok advised, “We have damaged both Greshnayr vessels, but not sufficiently enough to stop their attack.”

Just as Janeway was about to respond, _Voyager’s_ hull absorbed a massive impact that almost forced her from her chair.

“Torres to the bridge,” the anxious voice of her Chief Engineer sounded a few moments later, “We took a direct hit! I’m going to have to shut down the warp core to avoid a breach.”

“Acknowledged,” Janeway said, dread beginning to creep up her spine. This wasn’t going according to plan.

Chakotay turned to Kim, “Are there any resistance ships in hailing range?”

Harry quickly tapped on his instruments before replying, “Afraid not, Sir.”

Chakotay’s heart sank as he felt _Voyager_ drop to impulse. “Keep up your evasive maneuvers, Tom,” he ordered, even knowing it would likely be a futile effort, “try to keep them off balance.”

“Tuvok,” Janeway called out, “target the most damaged vessel with photon torpedoes. See if you can even the odds.”

“Firing photons,” Tuvok acknowledged.

Janeway watched as three of _Voyager’s_ most powerful weapons struck the hull of one of the Greshnayr ships and exploded in a cloud of fire and debris.

“The vessel has been disabled, Captain,” Tuvok reported, “however, the other is still firing.”

As if to underline his point, the second enemy ship fired off a series of volleys in rapid succession. Sparks flew from several consoles around the bridge as the crew fought to stay on their feet.

“Shields down to 10%,” Tuvok reported, “phaser banks one and two are offline.”

“Tom” Janeway yelled down to the helm, “do everything you can to keep the remaining phaser banks out of the Greshnayr’s weapon’s range!”

“Aye!” Tom acknowledged.

_If we can just disable the second ship, we can get out of this_, Janeway thought.

Undeterred by Tom and Tuvok’s efforts, the remaining Greshnayr ship continued its attack until, finally, Tuvok reported, “The shields are failing.”

_No_, Chakotay thought, just as Janeway’s eyes met his. She reached out and grasped his arm tightly, her expression one of passionate resolve and a strength that almost took his breath away, “Protect the crew, Chakotay,” she said quietly so only he could hear, “Promise me.”

“Kathryn, I …” His response was cut off by Tuvok’s voice behind them, “Shields are down.”

A few seconds later, Chakotay was aware of the unmistakable sounds of multiple transports taking place. He reached for the phaser that was stored down the side of his chair, only to find the barrel of a much larger weapon levelled at his face.

“Do not resist,” the rough voice of a male Greshnayr said, “We are here for the female.”

Chakotay felt Janeway’s hand give his arm a final squeeze before she got to her feet, “My crew will not fight you,” she said in a commanding tone that was levelled at her officers rather than the Greshnayr invaders, “You do not have to hurt anyone.”

Chakotay glanced around the bridge. He could see at least ten Greshnayr, all with weapons trained on _Voyager’s_ crew. There were likely more on the upper level behind his chair, but he didn’t want to risk turning around to check.

The one who had addressed Chakotay now turned to Janeway, looking her up and down like she was filth, a sneer spreading across his face. It took every ounce of Chakotay’s self-control not to beat the man senseless.

The Greshnayr levelled his weapon at Janeway’s head with one hand and grabbed her roughly by the arm with the other. To her credit, she didn’t flinch, but instead fixed her captor with a withering glare.

Chuckling scornfully, the Greshnayr pulled Janeway against him so that her back was to his chest, the weapon still trained on her, before turning to Chakotay.

“Your vessel will leave our space immediately. If you engage with any of our ships again, or linger in our territory, we will destroy you.”

Chakotay wanted to tell the bastard to go to hell, but he knew he had to keep it together for the sake of the crew. And for Kathryn.

He nodded at the Greshnayr, who added derisively, “Assuming you’re capable of commanding this vessel without your female.”

“He’s more than capable,” Janeway responded defiantly, locking eyes with Chakotay, her gaze conveying all the faith she had in him. In response, the Greshnayr tightened his arm painfully around her chest, making it harder for her to breathe.

“Quiet, female! Your words have no value to us.”

He jerked his head at one of the other Greshnayr, who tapped a device strapped to his arm.

Chakotay watched in horror as Janeway and her captor disappeared.


End file.
